Spironolactone, estradiol, feminising hormones, female versus male orgasm

I have updated my views on feminising drug regimens since I wrote this in 1998 – see my latest blog on this:

https://ambergoth.wordpress.com/2011/04/23/feminizing-drug-regimens-pre-srs-transsexual-medications/

It will be clear when you have read the above that I have recently stepped up my feminizing drug regimen to a full transsexual pre-op. dosage.  I guess I am moving closer to the transsexual end of the spectrum.  I am spending more and more of my life living as a woman, and so I guess it’s starting to look as if it’s only a matter of time before I transition completely.

I would love to have facial feminisation surgery, but I am frightened to do so – in case it goes wrong and I end up looking like one of those ‘after plastic surgery’ horror stories.

My wife says she likes my face as it is, and as I can pass as a woman even in busy shopping streets now, go shopping en femme whenever I like, etc., I guess I should be satisfied with where I am now.

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These were my previous comments from 1998 on Spironolactone, estradiol, feminising hormones, female versus male orgasm, etc.:

I think taking Spiro (at the 100 – 200 mg per day level) did stop me having erections; it was several years ago when I took them, and it was only for a period of about six months.  It might also have been something else that affected me that way.

My wife enjoys having sex with me when I am performing as a male; it wasn’t much fun for her when I couldn’t do the business, but everything seems okay in that respect now, in spite of the (relatively low) 2 mg daily dosage of estradiol I am taking.  As far as that goes, it doesn’t seem to be true in my case that taking female hormones stops me getting an erection, although as Lucy (a friend on TrannyWeb) says, it might do eventually (in which case, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it).

On the other hand might not this be a sort of myth – an urban legend among the transgender community?  Whether one can or cannot still perform sexually as a male, whether one would want to anyway, and how long one can still do it for if taking female hormones all seem to be issues which cause some of us more concern than others.

 I have heard some people reporting that taking female hormones does not interfere (much) with sexual potency as a male – and what about the she-male phenomenon?  Others say it definitely kills Lord John stone dead, and good job too.  It seems that yet others are able develop female breasts but still be able to function as a male sexually more or less indefinitely – is there a discussion string on TrannyWeb or any other TG forums on this (if so, I haven’t found it yet).

Obviously if I take female hormones, at whatever dosage, for long enough, I am going to get to the point of no return as regards having boobs, even if I stop the hormones.  I think I am probably approaching that point fairly soon.  But this doesn’t worry me – I guess I am that far gone already in my transgender journey – neither does it worry my wife, who is delighted with my female breasts.

I am happy as I am –  and in doing what I am doing as regards the hormones, and don’t see why I have to say either ‘yes, I am transitioning towards SRS’ or ‘no, I am not.’  Let’s wait and see. The only important thing is to make sure that what I am doing regarding taking feminising hormones is done in the safest way possible;and my G.P. knows about it now and I absolutely take on board what Lucy said above taking the lowest dose possible of Progynova or Estrofem, whilst still getting the feminising effect that I desire (and I realise that I desire it very strongly – so maybe I am transsexual). I am getting the breast growth and feminising effect that I want on 2 mg per day, and I do not need to take Spiro, so I’m not.  I am following Lucy’s advice on this.

 I don’t think my wife would mind me saying that she has discovered that she has lesbian tendencies and she also has quite a strong masculine side which she likes to express in various ways (eventually she will probbly read this posting and she will probably hit me..!)

A couple of further things I will say – I very recently (at the Harmony Weekend) met a ‘professional’ transsexual who seemed personally affronted that I was taking female hormones but did not necessarily self-identify as a transsexual myself and was not seeing a National Health shrink or counsellor, like she is.

I am also a little puzzled that some TS’s say that taking Spiro to make them impotent as a male is actually a desirable outcome for them.  I have come across this view before.  For me it would be neither desirable nor undesirable, but an inevitable biological outcome of switching my endocrine balance.

If I had SRS and could be guaranteed that I would be able to function fully in a sexual sense as a female, including experiencing multiple full female orgasms (I wish!) – I might be more inclined to say I’d go for the full transition (that may still happen at some point in the future, okay, I can’t rule it out.)

It seems to me that women experience a far more rewarding and complete orgasm than men – the lucky things –  wow, would I like to experience what they experience, and have the full body sensations and internal glow going on for that long!

We poor creatures that were born with the old gentleman between the legs can have a long build-up, but for me at least, the actual moment of male orgasm only lasts a few seconds (unless I keep holding back on the point of orgasm, which is excruciating, and I’m  not sure it’s exactly a pleasure); and then it’s all over and within a few seconds you are thinking about something else entirely (like eating, smoking (although I don’t smoke now), watching TV or listening to the World Service of the BBC on the radio, while you female partner is all aglow for a long, long time…and usually she falls asleep eventually…still in a state of bliss…

 I may as well hang on to the old wedding tackle until it becomes useless or we decide (both my wife and I, as I would never do it without her permission and support), that I’m going for the full SRS, as at least I still get some pleasure from the sexual act as a male, and no one can guarantee me that if I get an ‘innie’ rather than an ‘outie’.  (I know the theory of the SRS op. about using the sensitive skin at the tip of the penis and from the stem to create the clitoris and sensitive areas of the labia, and I know some post-operative TS’s claim to be able to experience female orgasms while others are still waiting for their clits to ‘wake up’ years after the op. – so it still seems a bit of a lottery.)

I am also quite clear that SRS would be the last step in my transition – there are far more important factors in how well we TG girls can ‘pass’ as a woman when we are out and about than what’s between your legs, such as hair styling, female voice and feminine facial characteristics. Some TS’s will no doubt say I’m missing the point, because it’s all about what you’ve got between your legs – well, that’s a view, certainly.

But one of the tragedies of early gender reassignment surgery on the NHS (and privately) is the number of post-operative TS’s who have to live with having very maculine faces and voices, can’t pass as women in normal life and society, feel like freaks, and are therefore very unhappy and regret their surgery.  Some of them may well now be getting FFS and female voice coaching under the NHS – I think this is becoming more common.  But I do believe it is possible (and many she-males prove it) to function perfectly well in the female gender role socially while still having the male parts between the legs.  And some may well prefer to function sexually in this way, whether with women or with men as partners. Surely that is a personal choice?

I am doing what I can about what I consider are the three most important gender identity cues, which people on the street use to decide what you are – woman or man – and those are H., F. and V. – Hair, Face and Voice.

I am having laser hair removal sessions to get rid of my facial hair, taking finasteride to promote scalp hair growth (although I am fortunate in having quite a good head of hair already, and no obvious signs of male-pattern balding); and trying my best to develop a female voice.  I think this takes about two years.

If I had the money to pay for any feminisation surgery, I would go first for FFS (facial feminisation surgery), which was the subject of my first posting and the starting point of this whole blog) – long before I went for SRS, as this would have a much more immediate beneficial effect on the ease with which I can pass.

 This is one of the great insights (almost an epiphany moment) I have gained recently from looking at all the transgender channels on YouTube (see my own YouTube channel for links to some of the best vids about developing a female voice and the best surgeons for facial feminisation surgery: http://uk.youtube.com/user/ambergoth)

Facial feminisation surgery did not really exist 10 or 15 years ago, any more than it was possible to self-medicate and buy hormones from the Internet.  These recent developments have given TG girls many more options than previously to be in control of their transitioning and to prioritise what is most important to them, rather than relying on NHS endocrinologists, psychiatrists, counsellors and NHS gender identity dysphoria clinics to make all the decisions for them.

Yes, I’ve read all the warnings about self-medication and last weekend had to suffer the patronising remarks and controlling behaviour of a pre-operative TS who was following the NHS route.  She appeared to have had little positive benefit in terms of feminisation from the drug regime she was on, and she unfortunately had very masculine facial features and made the most elementary mistakes in her attempts to ‘pass’, such as walking like a man, talking like a man, and wearing a disastrous hair piece which displayed her male hairline at the back and side of her head.  (And I know I sound like a bitch, but you didn’t have to respond to all her assumptions about ‘what you have to do to be a good transsexual’ and answer the personal and intrusive questions she was firing off at my wife and I. This is why I made the remark about ‘professional’  transsexuals on my last blog upload, see below ).

Anyway, that’s it for now.

9 responses to “Spironolactone, estradiol, feminising hormones, female versus male orgasm”

  1. I am male to female on female hormones since 2 years, past from 1 week i have found that hormones are stopped acting to my body if any one can help me in this regards will be helpful to me ………………….- Anu

  2. Wow! It’s nice to come across a really level headed person discussing a topic like this. I self-med, naughty I know, but I’m ok with that. I’ll be getting a private doc when I can afford it. I like just being myself and I’m taking small steps at a time to get to where to want to be. I agree with ‘each to their own’ and I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

  3. Hi Amber and thanks for your really interesting post.

    I have been taking Progynova 2mg for the past 3 months. While there is some breast growth beyond what I already had achieved using peura mirifica previously, the most noticable thing is the change in my mental well being. I am married with children and grand children and do not want to risk my relationship with them. While my wife is fully aware of my gender dysphoria, she would not support me transitioning, even if that is my preferred route.

    This was leading me into depression, I was drinking too much and my mind never left the dream of living as a woman; it was compulsive and I was heading on a downward spiral which ended up with me becoming very angry towards my wife one night after too much wine. Although I have no recollection of what I said, it clearly upset her to the point where she was prepared to leave.

    After researching on the internet (I had previously been seeing a psychiatrist for 6 months regarding my gender dysphoria) I decided to treat myself using a low dose of Progynova. Since doing so, I am much more relaxed, have my drinking under control, no longer get angry and while I still enjoy going out en fem, I no longer have the compulsion to dress at every opportunity. I have changed my clothing to a more androgynous look, grown my hair longer, wear scarves, improved my appearance with hair removal, skin care etc, wear plain black fem undies instead of jocks, and am feeling so much better.

    For the first time, I like you feel contented with myself and I firmly believe it is because of the female hormones that are now in my body. I am able to concentrate more on my work and feel less stressed. I feel more comfortable chatting to ladies yet my male friends have not commented on any difference (apart from a few quips at my 60’s hair). I rarely chat to my wife about my gender dysphoria now which she appreciates as she was growing tired of it always being in her face.

    So, I would also be keen to learn of other’s experience as the low level of Progynova has certainly worked wonders for me. I have just ordered another batch and plan to see a GP soon for some blood tests just to make sure it is not doing me any harm

    Thanks again for your post

    Regards

    Sandy

    1. Sandy, could you provide an update on how things are going/ have gone? Very interested in the outcome mentally especially and avoiding the negative effects of a physical transformation beyond anything very subtle.

  4. You are so right in your point.

    I’m as you in my transsition with my wifes support.
    When others in the established trans community hear off us doing it our selves, then they either go ballistic or think we are less transgendered than they are.
    Would love to hear more from you.
    Jessie

  5. I as well have my wifes support with the same reservations of the family perception. I too wear my female underwear and stockings or pantyhose on a regular basses to help me feel better about ME. My wife sugested that if i could have the SRS first and the rest remain male she would prefer that for the above reason. I have not gone out in public either for respect for her as i am not very passable yet. I am also newer to my new persona about 3 years. The guidlines are very discriminatory and at my age I know the what I am doing and why.

    I as well wish I could scream like a little girl (pun) like my wife, so does she this is also why she is ok with it backwards with SRS first. If 85% are orgasmic i’m in.. even if it is limited in length. toys are for girls.

    In a nut shell (wishing mine were gone) I tip my hat to all the others out there and keep posting on utube as it is great on letting us know we are not alone.

    1. Mylana, you should not consider SRS unless you havce tried living as a woman. If you haven’t even gone out in public and don’t consider yourself passable, SRS would be a disaster! I can’t understand why your wife would suggest it?

  6. Hey Amber,

    I really enjoyed yor blog and your point of view on transitioning. I’m a FTM transgender and just started my HRT last week. I’m using androgel 1.25% once daily. So far it’s been 5 days and the only noticeable change is the muscle in my arms. I apply it to my shoulders and arms, so I can safely assume its because of the T. How I stumbled upon your blog was because I was searching the effects of hormones on orgasms. I don’t plan to have any bottom SRS and am comfortable with having a vagina, but if you know of any resources for FTM’s on more effects of HRT, that would be helpful. I see a nurse practitioner am we consult with an endocrinologist for my treatment. I have basic and scientific fact sheets about the type of hormones I’m taking, but they can’t tell you about sexy things like orgasms.

    Anyways, I like yor blog and I hope you are well!

    Aiden

  7. I read with great interest all the comments here as I’m about to start down the road of feminisation but have no desire to take this as far as total reassignment.

    So far I have been using a combination of progesterone cream and a natural breast firming cream containing Pueraria Mirifica with very slow but noticeable results.

    I have ordered oestrogen estradiol gel to compliment the mix as I’ve been told that with the levels of progesterone already in my body, the results should be fairly dramatic.

    While I’m lucky being slender, I’m really hoping for some body fat redistribution especially around my thighs and bum.
    I’ve been naturally blessed with fairly broad hips so that, for me, isn’t an issue so with these goals together with a moderate increase in bust size, my world will be complete!

    Unhappily I received a VERY negative response from my GP. Shock was her first reaction followed swiftly by almost indifference telling me to ‘go private’, something I just cannot afford to do.

    Yes I know the risks associated with ‘self-med’ which is why I’m not going to use some of the more sophisticated stuff I hear about but given my doctors negativity, what choices are open to me?

    Great stuff girls! I wish you all happiness in your journeys.

    Andi.

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